So, I may have lost two of the most important people in my life. I fucked up. I always do. But this time it’s bad and I’m terrified that things will end completely. I was afraid that as soon as things got better I would be pushed aside. My head seems to love coming up with these scenarios that always leave me alone. And if it’s one thing I’m seriously afraid of it’s being alone. I don’t want to lose them, but I know I have. Sad part is I was actually falling in love, I think I may have been in love already. But I refuse to look any further into my feelings. Especially if they no longer want anything to do with me. I can’t take back what I did, and really I don’t even know why I felt I had to do it. Now I’m alone and I’m sad and it sucks. I hurt them and I never wanted to do that, but I wonder if they ever actually thought about how I would feel if things ended. If they went on being happy and in love while I was left behind, hiding behind a fucking smile. But whatever, it isn’t their fault. I fucked up all on my own. I don’t know what to do anymore…I don’t know how to fix it or make it better…I can’t lose them. I just can’t. I kind of need someone to talk to, someone that will really listen and not judge, and maybe even give me some advice. Why do I always fuck everything up when things are going fine… I don’t know what to do… Maybe I’m meant to be alone and unhappy…
brianfung28:
They left you, they moved on and they’re not coming back. That sucks and it may hurt, but that’s just how it is. I know you want them, and you miss them, but it’s not going to change anything. Just stay strong and realize that they’re making room for someone better, that they they’re helping you…
(Source: vtruonggg)
;;Jamieee;VeryBrokenandSingle;
Family;Friends;Nights;Wine;Completely obsessed with owl/feather jewelry.
I don't really know what to say about myself.
I am what I am. Take it or leave it.
